Birthday Wishes

I'm so tired, but my little night owl daughter won't go to sleep, someone please make her sleep! I've been half tempted to stop her daytime nap, but that is my only sanity during the day. I try to get her to take it earlier in the day, but that rarely happens, if Bree isn't ready to sleep, Bree won't sleep. Last night it was after 11 again when she went to sleep. Then at 4:50 she was up crying. I got her back to sleep, then the dog whined to go out. I took the dog out, climbed into bed, shut my eyes, and Bree was up again. Bah! I got her back to sleep in about 15 minutes, but by then it was pretty close to the time I'd have to get up anyways, so I just stayed up. I wonder if I'll ever get to sleep in till my alarm clock goes off. It frustrates me.

So, on Dec. 10, I will have a birthday....and I'll be 41 yrs old. Eek. Every year for my birthday, I wish for snow, lots of it. So far the forecast on my birthday doesn't call for snow, but we did get some yesterday, and today, and tonight and tomorrow I think we are getting some. I just hope its not bad enough for a snow day. Tomorrow I have errands I need to run and can't if the roads are nasty, and on my bday I don't really want Kels & Jilly home all day fighting, it would make for a crappy birthday. I'm looking forward to birthday cake, one that I don't have to make. Bill ordered one for me. Its a request I always make. Can't have a birthday without cake, and I sure as hell don't want to make my own and have to clean the mess lol. I'm also hoping for dinner out, or carry out in...cross your fingers for me :)

OMG Can I just say how annoying this Upside Down Show is? Gives me a total headache, I think those 2 dudes need some ritalin or something. I wish Bree didn't like it. The good thing is its keeping her quiet, and laying down...for now. Maybe she'll get bored and sleep.

There is ONE good thing about Jilly's dad moving. We have agreed that he'd give me her bunk beds from his house. That way, Bree can have the bottom, and Jilly the top, instead of having 2 beds taking up all the floor space. Now maybe I'll be able to get some toys in their room and out of my living room. I have no idea where in the heck all the Christmas toys are going. Bree is getting some big items. What were we thinking?

I guess thats it for now, I have had nothing exciting happen today to share. Toodles

Give me a switch please

At 4:10 this morning, Bree woke up crying. We went and cuddled & rocked for a bit and she was back to sleep shortly after. Then of course the dog wanted to go out. So once I got back into bed, I laid there, tossing and turning thinking about stuff. Thinking about the beautiful snow I saw outside when I was up with Bree, thinking about my birthday that is in a few more days, and mostly, thinking about Jilly and how things are going to be for her come Jan. when her dad goes to Norway. I feel so bad for her. I wish I had a switch that I could flick on or off my thoughts when I want to try to relax and sleep. Why didn't God think of this when he made us?

Today has been busy, I rolled out, cut and baked all the cookies I mixed up yesterday. Then later this evening I iced some of them. I tried royal icing for the first time. I think they look nice. I still obviously have a lot to learn about using it, but it was fun.

As I mentioned above, we got some snow overnight. Bree & I were so excited to see it. Bill...not so much. Once we dropped Kels & Jilly off at school, Bree got bundled up and we went out to play for a bit. She really enjoyed it.

I'm going to overload you all on pics tonight, because I can. Enjoy, and toodles.

The meeting results

Whelp, just returned from the meeting with Jilly's dad. The news isn't so bad for ME, but its not so good for Jilly.

A little background info...The ex, came from the country Norway, to be with me back in 1999. He left his family, friends, job, everything to be with me. We married right away, had Jilly...seperated after Jilly was about a year old. Once we divorced, he met someone else, and they have since had a child together, and got married.

Ok, back to now. The ex is so in the hole financially that he can't get out of it. He owns 2 homes and can't sell either, he can't get refinancing or any other help. So, he has decided to move back to Norway to live with his family, get a job, and climb out of the hole he is in. He is moving there in Jan. with his son. His wife is staying here in IL until June, then she and her kids (except for 1) will move out there as well. So, Jilly's father will no longer be around for her come Jan.. I'm very sad for Jilly. I don't think she quite gets it yet...but she will once he is gone.

Until June, the ex wants Jilly to continue to go to his home to be with his wife & step kids to remain a part of their lives as much as possible. He will have her give me my child support check every other week until June. At that point, somehow he is going to have child support deposited into my bank account monthly.

As far as visits from her dad or her to him...He said he would get here to visit her whenever possible, and he'd like her to visit there too, but we agree she is to young to travel the 14 hr plane trip alone.

Technically, he isn't supposed to move more then an hour away from Jilly, its in our divorce decree. I could raise a stink about that, but I won't. I know its killing him having to leave Jilly, and if he could find other ways to avoid it he would.

Please keep Jilly in your thoughts and prayers. She is going to miss her daddy and her little brother too.

Toodles.

Whew

Whew! I can relax a bit now. Child support finally came in on Friday and I was able to get some things we needed AND fill my van's gas tank. Yay. I still have one thing to stress about, and that is the talk I'm having with Jilly's dad later today. I hope whatever it is he needs to talk about isn't anything to serious.

The weekend has been spent running around and being lazy. Last night we ran out to Walmart and Big Lots. I got my haircut while at Walmart...didn't notice until this morning when I fixed my hair what a crappy haircut it was! How did I not see this last night? My bangs are a lot shorter then they should be, and they are at an angle...going the wrong direction then they should be going even though really there shouldn't be an angle! Oy. Remind me if I go back there to stay away from "Diedra" she was wicked with the scissors.

Aubrey went to bed at 11:15 last night, and was up at 4:20 this morning! I was not a happy camper. She did go back to sleep around 6:30, and I tried to as well, but the stupid dog had other ideas for me.

Today we took another trip to Walmart because I got the bright idea to make Christmas cookies. I haven't had my recipe of cookies in several years and they really sounded yummy right now. We also stopped at Menards for a few things. We are going to make a rain gutter book/stuffed animal shelf, like the one in this picture here. It will go in Jilly/Bree's room. I think we are going to do one big long one on the one empty wall in there.

Now my cookie dough is made, and chilling. I was trying to get Bree to nap, so I could roll and cut them in peace, but she doesn't seem to interested in sleeping, drat.

I also need to rearrange the girls room to try to squeeze the toybox into there (hopefully it will work! its such a small crowded room already). I need to make room out here for all the stuff that a certain little one is getting for her birthday and Christmas...to many big items. Santa needs to bring us a bigger house. Or at least a professional organizer to help me make more room in the one we have :)

I have some pictures to share today. First is one of Bree and how she fell asleep for her nap yesterday. She was coloring, had a pen in one hand, and a crayon in the other, and fell asleep.



Then there is the one of Bree and how she fell asleep at 6:30 this morning...


Then we have Cranky Chef Bree, who was helping me make cookies earlier today and she was in such a crabby mood, everything set her off...



This cheered her up a bit...



There ya go, didn't that just make your day? LOL Please excuse my UGLY and messy kitchen in that last pic.

Whelp, thats it for now, I better get busy...Toodles

Still waiting...

As I mentioned in yesterday's post, there was a problem with my child support coming through. Supposedly, if the chick in charge sent it through yesterday when she said she was going to, it would have gone right to the SDU (States Disbursement Unit) and then to my bank account shortly after. Well guess what...still no sign of it at the SDU. This is total bullshit. Does this lady not realize people count on their child support? Especially this time of year. We need groceries, diapers, gas in the van, all that kind of stuff. I think the lady in charge of this should be reprimanded!! Or she should at least come buy me some milk damn it. :P I'm so totally pissed off at this situation. Hopefully once it comes through, my tense, bitchy mood will ease up so I can have some more fun posts.

Again, yesterday's post mentioned the situation with ex #2 needing to talk to me. This totally has me freaking the hell out. I wish he'd just tell me NOW what is going on. I've been sick to my stomach with worry. SO last night, I asked Jilly what she would do IF her dad said he wanted her to come live with him. Thinking she'd say NO right away, and it would ease my worries some. Nope. She said she doesn't know what she'd want to do. Gee thanks.

Zach is on his way to court right now. Please keep him in your thoughts and prayers that it goes well. Hopefully he doesn't lose his license.

Yes I know I'm pretty bitch latey. I'm sorry. I have a lot to be thankful for actually. My kids are beautiful, smart and healthy. We have a home (hopefully we will be able to keep it for a long long time!), we have electricity and warmth. We have food, although pickings are slim right now, we do have stuff to eat. We have eachother, and other family too. Things may be tough right now, but someday, they WILL get better.

I'm watching Bree play with her baby. Its so sweet. She wraps her baby up in a blanket, and cradles her in her arms, and gazes down at the baby so lovingly. Its like she really loves that baby as a mother loves her child. She will be a good mother some day.

I think I will post some pics, and then go clean, put my angry energy to good use. Wish me luck. Enjoy the pics :)
Toodles

Stressed, and in need of chocolate, NOW.

Wow. I'm ready for good things. Lately things have been stressful. Of course finances have been tight for a while, but things really are not getting any better. I'd like to take on some babysitting jobs or something to get some cash flow, and yet still be home with Aubrey.

Things started going downhill fast last spring, when the dog broke her leg in 2 places. The back and forth to the vets, and all the treatments she had cost us over $3000 that we didn't have to begin with, so it put us in a big hole. There was also my feet issues, Kelsey's toe issues, and all the other crap that came along. We've been coping the best we can. It is something always on your mind though every day.

November, and so far December hasn't been easy. Car insurances were due, Thanksgiving, and Christmas shopping to be started, on top of what we already had going. We had a cat with worms, we've had flea issues, we have had something wrong with the dogs skin. My dh has been sick off and on and keeps going to the doctors for his cough but isn't getting satisfaction in anything that has been prescribed to him. There have been xrays of dh's chest, and Kels has had xray's on her finger (not to mention the surgery etc in Oct.). I've also been stressing over Jilly's tooth issues. Its just never ending. Now when we really need the money, my ex #1's employer messed up with the child support, so its over a week late. My bank account is down to the nity grity, and it ain't pretty. It 'should' be taken care of tonight or tomorrow. I can only hope this to be true.

On top of all that. Ex #2, has commented a while back that he needed to talk to me towards the end of the year, because he had job 'changes' coming up. Then last time Jilly went to his house, he told her he was going to be moving soon, just him and his son, not his wife & step kids...not sure what is going on there. So last night he tells her on the phone to make sure to tell me that we need to talk on Friday when we meet for Jilly to go to his house for the weekend. I can not tell you how much I am stressing over this. I don't know what he is going to tell me, and I'm scared. If he is divorcing, fine, if he is moving fine, I'm ok with that. If he tells me he can't pay support anymore, or that he is moving back to Norway where he won't be seeing Jilly, or if he wants custody of Jilly, that will NOT be fine, not at all. I hope he tells me sooner then Friday, the stress of the unknown is really getting to me.

There has been some good things too, not everything has been bad. Like Mom's help with Christmas, and the dentist. Without mom, we'd be totally screwed right now. Can't thank her enough.

Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers, if praying is what you do. Thanks.
Toodles.

Verify THIS! :P

Don'tcha just hate word verification and captia crap? Drives me nuts. Seems a lot of the blogs I comment on I have to use it. Hell for all I know, when people comment on mine they have to do so too...maybe I should look into that. Anyways, just wanted to bitch about it, because, well, because this is my blog and I have the right :)

Yesterday, my new niece Trinity came to visit us. It was my first time seeing her. She is so darn adorable! I gave her little baby head kisses. There is nothing better then baby head. Best kind of head you can put your mouth on. So soft, and warm, and smooth...ahhhhh I'm so in a baby mood! I want one! If I'm going to do so I better hurry though...I'm going to be 41 in 9 1/2 days. The girls & I all took turns holding her. Aubrey loved her to bits and gave her lots of hugs & kisses. Here are a few pictures:





We had a great visit. I can't wait to see her again! Maybe, if we are lucky, we could go stay a few days at their house again to visit, and give baby head kisses :)

As I've mentioned in previous posts, Jilly has had tooth issues and has been in sever pain since Wednesday night. I called around trying to find a dentist for her that accepted the insurance we had (state ins. All Kids). Only one place did, and that is a clinic place in town. I called, they said you have to register on one of their registration days, which happened to be that day...and then the only time they could get her in was on the following Monday! EEK. I booked the appt. because I didn't have much choice. Then I called our family doc, to see if she could see if Jilly and an infection that may need antibiotics, so if it did they could start working. She didn't see infection, but she was nice enough to provide a prescription pain medicine to get Jilly through until her appointment time. Later that afternoon I went to register Jilly. We were the only english speaking people there. The lady that took our info was very hard to understand. I wish those that pick the United States as a place to live, would at least take up English classes and learn the language here. Anyways...I got that taken care of and was praying Jilly wouldn't have much pain and be able to handle it till Monday.

I was telling my mother about the dentist situation. She offered to pay for Jilly to see her dentist (since Jilly doesn't have a regular one) to get the tooth taken care of right away and get Jilly out of pain. She was lucky and got us an appt. for today! So this morning, we drove 35 minutes, to my moms dentist. Jilly was scared. The staff was super nice, all the nurses were so good with Jilly and Bree too who observed. They praised Jilly for doing good, held her hand when she was scared and hurting from the shots and all that. Jilly ended up getting that tooth pulled. It was a baby tooth, and the big one was pushing it down already anyways. Between those teeth was some infection, the dentist said when he pulled at the tooth the infection stuff came out all over, ummm YUCK. Jilly cried, she said it hurt. We were both glad it was done. Longest 30 minutes of my life it felt like. It took Jilly quite a while to settle down. It was a bit funny on the way home though...her mouth was so numb, the drool kept oozing out lol, she kept holding kleenexes up to her mouth to catch it.

Just want to say a HUGE THANK YOU to my mom. I don't know that she even reads my blog (she is a follower, but I don't think she actually reads). Jilly & I both thank you Mom for helping with the dentist. XOXO




Thats it for now...Toodles!