Emotional Mess

Thats me. I'm an emotional mess. These last few days I've been so weepy! I'm not liking it. It started when Jilly said goodbye to her little brother, then our cry together after we got home that day. Now, everytime I think about Jilly's dad being gone, and everyone involved that is heartbroken at the moment, I start crying.

Not only is Jilly missing her dad, and brother, but they are missing her. Bria, Jilly's step mom is missing her husband and son. They are missing her. Bria's older kids are missing their step dad & brother, they are missing them too. Bria's older son will be going to live with his dad, since he doesn't want to move to Norway with the others in June, he is leaving in a few weeks. Bria is heartbroken by that too. So many sad people right now.

I can't help but feel its partly my fault that there are so many sad people. See, Jilly's dad came to the US from Norway, back in 1999 to be with me. There was nothing else here for him at the time. We married, had Jilly, and were a family, even if it was for only a short time. But, if he hadn't come here, there wouldn't be so many sad people right now! Of course Jilly wouldn't be here either if that was the case. When Espen and I got together, of course I thought it would last forever, I never predicted we'd split, nor any of this other crap would happen. I still feel I'm to blame. I'm glad that once we split up he was able to find someone else, and make a new life, and have another child and all. I've even come to like Bria, she has always treated Jilly well, and that is what is important. I've become closer to her the last few days, since Espen left. I know if I were in her shoes I'd be a basketcase without my husband and son, for 6 months. I hope I can be there for her if she needs someone to talk to during this time. My heart aches for everyone involved. I'm so sorry you are all going through this.

I feel like I've failed Jilly, by not staying with her dad. If I had, she'd probably not be missing her dad now. But then again, who knows. Money was tight then and things were not going well...for all I know, things could have gotten worse.

I sure hope I can get all my weepiness out this weekend, before Jilly gets back from Bria's. I don't want her to see me like this, I need to be strong for her.

So, thats my emotional mess situation...I hope I made sense. Thats it for now...off to get some kleenex. Toodles.

Something new, 5 Question Friday

I occasionally read Mama M's blog. She is pretty funny, and has some great stories to tell about her job. She does a thing every Friday, Five Question Friday, so I thought I'd give it a try this week. If nothing else, maybe it will bring a few new readers to my blog. I probably picked a bad week to start this, because the answers to these questions I have are kinda boring, because I'm kinda boring! Anyways, here we go...

1. What is the worst trouble you got into as a teenager?

2. Are you a morning person or a night person?

3. Are you a one handed or a two handed texter?

4. Democrat, Republican, or Independent...or maybe even Green Party (whatever that is)?

5. Are you a pet person?

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My answers

1. I don't think I got into any major trouble as a teen. I didn't drink, do drugs, hang out with wrong crowds, nothing. I was a good girl I believe...or maybe my memory is failing me...My mom might say otherwise.

2. Neither? I'd LOVE to sleep in, although I never get to. I'd love to go to bed early, although I never get to do that either. I'm an old fart, I need sleep...to bad I can't get it. If I had to pick one or the other, I'd probably say morning person.

3. I don't text. It costs extra, hubby won't let me. I'm probably the only person in this world that does not text.

4. None of the above. I am not into politics. I'm not a registered voter either. If I were, I'd vote for whoever seemed best for the job and who I liked, no matter what party they were from I think.

5. I have pets. I wish I didn't. I could live with the cats. We have 2. We have a dog as well...that I wish we didn't have. She is nothing like the great dogs I had as a child. This dog is crazy. She eats her own crap. She still isn't totally house-trained. She kills rabbits in the backyard :( And she can't be trusted around our cats, or our youngest daughter.

So there ya have it. Pretty boring. Maybe if I remember to do this next week the questions will be better suited for me. That's all for now. Toodles. Thanks for stopping by.

The Note

Jilly slipped a note to me, she left it on my desk. She must have done it while I was begging and pleading for Bree to go to sleep last night. If you've read my blog before, you'll know her dad moved to Norway, he left yesterday. We did a lot of cuddling and crying yesterday together.




I found the note this morning. It made me cry.

Toodles

Today was THE day, and other stuff.

Last weekend was Jilly's last time with her dad. Today he left for Norway, with her little brother. Before leaving to the airport, he called her as she got out of school to say goodbye. Listening to Jilly say goodbye to her little brother got me all teary. Jilly seemed ok in the van on the way home, I think it was a front she put on because her friend Jackie was with us. As soon as Jackie got out of the van and headed to her house, Jilly grabbed me and hugged me and cried. We took it inside and hugged and cried together for about 40 minutes. I feel so sad for her. I hope she is able to adjust well, and that they are able to talk frequently. Please continue to keep her in your thoughts.

In other news...Money sucks. Or should I say lack of it sucks. Sucks big. Because of a mess up, my husband accidentily paid our mortage twice this month! While that is good to pay extra from time to time, now is a BAD time to do it. We are super low on groceries and now we can't get anymore until next week. Yesterday I used up most of my money getting the necessities that will hopefully get us through. I really hope I can work on the potty training with Bree so we don't use so many diapers, because that is something we might run out of. I'm thinking positive though (trying anyways) it is a good time to really work on potty training, and its a good time to diet, since there aren't any good snacks in the house! LOL

Speaking of potty training...Today, Miss Bree was wearing her super cool Blues Clues big girl panties. I kept asking her if she needed to use the potty, and she said no. Well...a bit later, I heard the sound of pee hitting the floor. I looked over at her and saw a wet spot on the carpet, and streaks of wetness going down her legs. I said to her, "Oh Aubrey, did you pee your panties?" She replied back, "yes mommy, and I pee'd on Tigger too!" Tigger is our cat. Tig was laying on a blanket Bree had on the floor, apparently Bree was standing over top of Tig when she had an accident in her thin big girl panties...and it leaked out onto Tigger. I at first thought she was being silly...until I felt the cat. Tigger didn't seem to mind much, she just laid there, debating on if she was going to go back to sleep or not. I washed her up good with a baby wipe.

Since we are talking about Tigger...she is a cool cat. She has 6 toes on each foot. Neat eh? Sissy our other cat is special as well...she has a chunk of hair that sticks up on the top of her head. My husband has tried cutting it off, but it grows back the same way. She is very odd.

Thats it for now...Toodles.

Silliness

Since I'm to annoyed, ticked, frustrated, and tired to actually post and be funny via my words, I decided to put up some silly pics instead. Enjoy...









Until next time...Toodles

Bunk Beds!

Since Jilly's dad is moving, we got the bunk beds she had there at his house. This is totally exciting, because it frees up some space in Jilly & Bree's room so I can move some of their toys in there yay! So, now Jilly has the top bed, and Bree the bottom.

Yesterday we picked them up, and put them together. Bill did most of the work, but Bree helped too...



I swear, she asked at least 100 times, "Are they ready yet?"
Finally, yes, they were ready...

Bree & I had to cuddle in her new bed

She loves her new bed, to play in, and hang out in...but sleeping? Not so much. Last night she slept pretty crappy, which means so did I :(

Today, we brought up the toys to put in her room, and get things all organized. I'm almost totally done, I just need to go through some of the gazillion clothes that Jilly brought home from her dads and find a place to keep them. I put some wall sticker things up too. Some are picture frames, that are empty at the moment until I can get more color ink to print pics for them. I also need to get a sheet or bed skirt for the bottom bed to cover that ugly box spring. The mattresses that Jilly's dad gave us were not bunk mattresses, and they were sagging, so we added a box spring to the one, and used our old firmer trundle bed mattress for the top bunk. It will do for now. Bree loves it her room and has played in there almost all day.

After playing all morning, this is how she crashed for her nap...



Thats it for now...Toodles!

Jilly & her dad

As I mentioned in a post last month, Jilly's dad is moving to Norway. Jilly is not. He leaves this week on the 14th. Today was her last day with her dad. From now on, most of their conversations and visits will be done online, via yahoo messenger, and a webcam. Not sure when she'll see him in person again. There is a chance he might come in June, so he can help his wife pack up the rest of their belongings and help her get to Norway with his step kids. If he doesn't come then, who knows when she'll get to see him. I'm very sad for her. Every little girl should have their dad close, even if their parents are not together anymore. Please keep Jilly in your thoughts, she is going to miss her dad.

Here are a few pictures of them together. The first is from last winter, when he came to take her to the daddy daughter dance here in our town. The next 2 pics are from December when he came to see her school program, they were taken afterwards in the school hallway.





Toodles...
(tomorrow I'll post about bunkbeds! that is how we spent today, putting them up)