As you know, Monday is a big day for me. A scary day. A exciting day. A painful day. A new beginning day. It will be the day the journey to a pretty smile begins. On Monday I am going to the dentist and getting all my teeth taken out. To say I'm stressing about this would be an understatement. I'm a tad freaked out LOL. Well more than a tad a LOT freaked out.
I lay in bed trying to fall asleep and I think about the dentist. I have dental phobia. Even calling a dentist freaks me out, I get the craps, cramps, feeling icky. Knowing I'm going on Monday has already started that ball rolling and I've been visiting the bathroom lots already. Anyways, as I was saying, I lay in bed trying to fall asleep and I think about the dentist, and whats gonna happen, about the sounds & smells of the dentist etc. it keeps me awake. When I finally do fall asleep I have dreams about the dentist. I told you about the one I think, where he told me I owed him money and how he claimed I use my boobs to try to get a discount...I told ya right? That was about a week or so ago. The other night I had one that I was at the dentist, strapped to the chair, and he was threatening to put novacaine injections into my FEET to prevent me from leaving! Eek.
I worry about everything. What if I choke on a piece of gauze? What if I have a reaction to the valium I'm going to be taking? What if he overdoses me on novacaine? What if I feel the pain as he pulls my teeth? The shots...EEEEK I hate those things. What if I bleed to death in the dentist chair? What if what if what if. I think because I've wanted this to happen for years and dreamed of dentures and a pretty smile, thinking it would never happen due to costs, now that it IS happening I fear the worst because I'm getting something I want. Sorta like that'll teach me for wanting something so costly and for appearance sake (although its for health reasons too).
Keep me in your prayers, I need help with this anxiety and constant fear, and of course I'll need them for Monday.
I am looking forward to no more toothaches, no more pain from cold winter air hitting my teeth, no more teeth breaking when I chew my food...
Another huge thanks to my Mom for making this dream a reality for me. I love you mom, and if I survive Monday I'll be sure to give you a big hug after my appointment. Maybe I'll give you one before too, just in case I don't!
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