I'm Afraid...

So far, I have worked out every day this month. I'm frustrated I haven't gotten as much weight off as I'd like so far. I've been working hard exercising, and cutting back on the crappy foods I've eaten all my life. I was really hoping I'd have more to show for all this effort by now.

SO, I've had a few people tell me that I'm working out to much (LOL I don't believe it... ) But anyways, they say my body needs a break now and then. Maybe it does, I'm no expert. I have a fear though, that if I take a break, I'll never resume!

Exercising is not fun. I do not like it. I force myself every day to get downstairs and do it, leaving my enjoyable things ( like talking to friends, watching TV, reading, etc.) behind so I can exercise to better myself.

If I take off a day, I fear I will lose momentum. I'll lose motivation. I'll never do it again..and be right back where I started, or worse.

Its kind of like a craft project that wasn't as fun as I thought, or a book that wasn't as good as I had hoped...so I set it aside saying I'll finish it tomorrow...yet tomorrow never comes, and the project or book never gets finished. That is what I think will happen if I don't exercise one day. I'm afraid.

So far, I've worked out, even on days I've felt sick and would rather have been laying on the couch. I'm afraid to skip a day...

Frustrated.

Toodles.

Gas

I needed to gas up the van Friday. I had a plan to do it on the way to meet Kelsey's dad, but we were running late thanks to Bree, so that didn't happen. I thought about doing it on the way back, but I was feeling sick and I was achy and tired, I just wanted to get home, and get my pjs on. I was sure I'd have to go out on Saturday for my newspaper so I figured I might as well just get gas then.

Saturday comes, and I end up not leaving the house at all. I had a cake order to do, so most of my morning was doing that. Bill ended up getting me my newspaper, so gas was never gotten Saturday.

So, today, Sunday, I felt the need to get out of the house for a bit...so I thought why not go get gas! I knew the girls would love a slushie from the gas station too...so off we went.

As soon as I got close enough to read the sign, I was ticked at myself for not getting gas on Friday. Since then, gas went up $.13! UGH. It never fails. This happens to me often lol, you'd think I'd have learned my lesson by now. I should have just sucked it up and got gas on Friday, even though I wasn't feeling well!

Its to bad people gas, and gasoline are not the same....because I'd be able to get a fill up for free any time I wished. My family is loaded with gas blowers! Heck, the littlest one of the house is the biggest giver of this lovely bodily blowout. Next is probably the cat lol. Then Bill, Jilly, Kelsey & me :)

QOTD: Who is the lead gas blower in your home? LOL

TooTles ;) haha

Dear...(1-26-11)

Another week, another installment of Dear... letters! These are letters, good or bad, to who ever, so I can vent or praise :) If you have a blog, please PLEASE join in! Just go to Dazee's site, grab the code for the Dear... picture thingy button and join in! Be sure to link to her site too. Or, if you don't have a blog, you can always join in over in the comment area.



Dear Optical place...Seriously, WHERE ARE MY GLASSES?? It is taking forever. Get them in already, I'm sick of waiting. Geeze.

Dear body...Why are you causing me pain today? I feel like I've been hit by a truck carrying a truck carrying another truck. Not sure if its from working out, or if I'm starting to get sick.

Dear Bree...I'm sorry you've been sick for a few days now. Glad today was fever free! I hope it stays that way. I hope your stuffy nose eases up soon so you can breath out of your nose better. PLEASE sleep better tonight. I know sleeping is tough sometimes when you are sick but wow you've really been struggling, and so is mommy. We both need good sleep.

Dear Jilly & Bree... I spent an entire day cleaning your room yesterday. KEEP IT CLEAN! No room should be that disgusting. Jilly...cleaning does not mean shove stuff in bags and hide them in every available crevice. Your dirty undies do not go in the toy box either.

Dear Kelsey... Nee Ner Nee Ner Nee Ner I beat you I beat you I beat you...on the wii advanced obstacle course :) FINALLY.

Dear Target...Stop having cute stuff in your ad when I don't have any money.

Dear money tree...why haven't you bloomed? I've been watering you, fertilizing you with all the extra bullshit we have around the house lol, yet still you bare no cash. You need to hurry up. Kels informed us she needs an arm and a leg and a few other various body parts for classes she needs to take ($650 worth).

Dear ugly gross thing I discovered yesterday...GO AWAY.

Dear Cake...I'm making you this this weekend for an order...please cooperate, turn out, and taste really good for my customer :)

Dear Excess Weight...GO AWAY faster please.

I guess that is it for now...

QOTD: If you had $1000 to spend ONLY ON YOURSELF, what would you buy?

Toodles!

Frustrations & Fevers

Today is the 24th day I have worked out. 24 days in a row! That is pretty good I think...considering I probably haven't even exercised 24 minutes in the last 30 yrs or so LOL.

I find myself getting a bit frustrated though. I'm working REALLY HARD, and the weight isn't coming off fast enough. I'm down about 8 lbs. Thats it. 8 lbs in 24 days. Bah humbug. I want more, and I want to see results, I want others to see it.

My clothing is feeling a bit more loose I guess.

My boobs seem to be losing weight. They are getting longer... Not exactly where I want to notice a difference...

I'd like to get rid of this double/triple chin.

I'd like to get rid of my big ole 'butt.

I'd love to get rid of this big ole' gut too.

I've made progress on my work outs. I'm able to go longer, and faster/harder. I started out on the treadmill struggling to make 15 minutes, at a pretty slow pace. Now my pace has increased, as well as the time I'm on it, I do about 40 minutes now. I'm also walking/running. Every 5 minutes I will turn up the speed and run for a minute. I am NOT A RUNNER, and this is very hard for me. But I'm doing it.

I'm spending about an hour and a half a day working out. My friends are feeling neglected, because normally we are talking, now I'm working out.. Sorry friends. :(

Just for the record, whoever says you get more energy when you exercise regularly, is FULL OF SHIT. 24 Days in a row is pretty regular if you ask me, and I'm TIRED. I get my work outs done early in the day, before lunch, and after that I'm sore, and exhausted, and I don't want to do anything else the rest of the day. This makes my house look like a warzone. What a mess...

Since I'm on the messy house topic let me go with that a minute...its a major frustration for me. I am a wife and a mother. I am not a maid. Yes, I know part of being a wife and mother involves housework and such... but... most of the family is perfectly capable of picking up after themselves a bit, and by golly they need to start! They don't hang up their coats, or put their shoes in the closet or their rooms, they toss them in front of the closet right inside the front door...which is also right in our living room for everyone to see. They leave dishes all over the house. Toys are everywhere. A certain child of mine, tends to eat non stop during the day, and leaves messes behind from this all over the place, and dirties a million dishes. Someone else I know in this house loves to yell at others for leaving a mess, yet that person does the same. Socks are left here and there, someone thinks the living room is her dressing room and leaves clothing on the floor....I could go on and on and ON, but I'll stop now. You get the picture I'm sure.

I've not been sleeping well lately. I am exhausted when I go to bed, yet I lay there and toss and turn, because I can't turn my damn mind off. I start thinking of working out, of friends problems, of things I need to do, of the kids, of food...and bake sales that I want to do, stuff like that. When I finally do fall asleep, I'm usually woken up several times from the dog, or Bree.

Bree loves her milk, and at night she is always waking up for more milk. I think if she'd eat a good dinner she'd not do this, but I can't get her to eat much. I have told her no more milk at night, once she falls asleep at bedtime, no milk until morning. Last night was our first night with this and she did good, she didn't ask for it once. She did still wake though, at 3:50 this morning. She was whining/crying, so I went to check on her. She told me she was afraid of the dark. It is NOT dark in her room, there is a small light in there (more than a nightlight) and it lights up the room quite a bit. She asked me to sleep with her. Her bunk bed is not comfortable for my fat ass, so I told her she can join me in my bed if she'd like, since Bill was at work. She came in, and tossed and turned. Then she started complaining her sides hurt. After a while of her whining about this I told her I'd kiss them, maybe that would help, she agreed, I kissed them, and all was well...for about 3 minutes. Then, she started crying that her sides still hurt. I told her maybe she needed to go poop or something, she agreed to try. So off we went to the bathroom. She pulls her pants down and sits for like 2 seconds, then says she can't go, and she lays on the floor, and kicks off her PJ pants and pull up and is crying a bit. Next she sounds like she's going to puke, and sure enough she did a bit (in the toilet thankfully). We washed her face, she brushed her teeth, and back to my bed we went, and she was able to go right to sleep after that...I wish I could have...

When she got up this morning I asked her how she was feeling, she said she felt ok. I kissed her forehead, and noticed she felt a little feverish. After we took the girls to school, I gave her some Tylenol for her fever. She did her morning nagging at me to go work out lol, so I did. She comes down and watches TV while I treadmill, and then she laughs at me as I work out on the wii. Today she fell asleep on the couch down there while I was doing the wii. She took a good nap, slept from about noon until 2:30. Unfortunately she woke feeling hotter. I found a thermometer that actually works, and tried taking her temp in her armpit. It climbed to 101.5, and was still going, but she grew impatient and wouldn't let me finish. When we picked the girls up we did a quick run to the store for some more medicine, and she got more to lower her temp..

This evening she has been very moody. Every little thing sets her off into a crying fit. At dinner she asked me to peel an apple for her, I did, she ate half, then broke down crying, because she didn't want it NOW, she wanted it LATER! I told her to just save it for later then. She got mad and said, "FINE! I'm going to my room!" I told her that is a great idea. :) Later she was crying because her score was showing on the DS game she was playing on, and she didn't want it to. Then she was crying because her dad didn't get her the pink dress with a flower on it that she wanted from Target last summer... Oy. Every little thing... Soon she'll be getting another dose of ibuprofen and hopefully going to sleep for the night, something we BOTH need right now. Wish us luck!

Wow, this got pretty long...sorry. Time to go cuddle with my sick cuddle bug.

Toodles!

Life is Good Award

Dazee (my friend) thinks I'm special, so she gave big ole me a award! Thanks Dazee!

And with this award comes some questions. Hard ones :P



1. If you blog anonymously, are you happy doing this? If you aren't anonymous, do you wish you started out anonymously, so that you could be anonymous now?
I am not blogging anonymously. Sometimes I wish I had been, just for safety reasons, but I didn't think of it when I started...

2. Describe an incident that shows your inner stubborn side.
Me stubborn? Hmm.. I can't think of anything! I'm sure my husband would have something to say about this one..

3. What do you see when you really look at yourself in the mirror?
Now this is a loaded question. I see UGLY. I see saggy boobs. Ugly teeth. Big fat gut. I see dunlap disease (my gut dunlap over my waistband). I see hair that doesn't cooperate, that is dark & not pretty like it used to be. I see ugly stretchmarks...although they mean a beautiful thing, that I carried 4 wonderful children in my womb. I see dark circles under my eyes. I see a double or maybe even triple chin. I see sadness, and frustration. I see aging. I see damage from all the junk I've eaten over the years, and from lack of exercise. I don't like mirrors.

4. What is your favorite summer cold drink?
Summer, spring, fall, winter...same drink for all seasons... MCD's COKE!

5. When you take time for yourself, what do you do?
Sit at the computer and talk to friends, blog & read. Or watch a movie.

6. Is there something that you still want to accomplish in your life?
Losing weight, becoming a healthier skinner me. I'd also love to be able to take the kids on a real vacation sometime..like to Disneyworld.

7. When you attended school, were you the class clown, the class overachiever, the shy person, or always ditching?
Shy, totally shy...

8. If you close your eyes and want to visualize a very poignant moment in your life, what would you see?
The births of my children, meeting them for the first time.

9. Is it easy for you to share your true self in your blog, or are you more comfortable writing posts about other people and events?
No its not always easy. I don't share all my feelings because of that. I try to be as open as I can though, without causing to much stress on myself or my readers.

10. If you had the choice to sit down and read a book or talk on the phone, which would you do and why?
Read a book. I do not like talking on the phone, at all. Texting, I can handle, and will text all day if I'm texting with good friends... but for some reason I just don't like talking on the phone... weird. Things sure changed from when I was young. I remember talking for hours at a time to some friends.

I'm not going to pass this award on to anyone... Not that no one deserves it, its just that no one I know will do anything with it.. So, readers, feel free to take this award and blog about it if you would like, its up to you. :) I'm flexible that way lol.

Toodles!

Dear... (1-19-11)

It's time for the weekly Dear... letters. These letters can be good or bad, just whatever you want to get off your chest. Join in, won't you? You can join in here in the comments, or do it on your very own blog! If you do it on your blog, please hop over to Dazee's blog and link up! Thanks!


Dear wii fit...I worked very hard the last few days, exercising more than normal even, because I wanted to snack on a small granola bar and a hot chocolate. Imagine my surprise when you told me I was up 2lbs the next day! That wasn't nice.

Dear obstacle course on wii fit plus...you totally kick my ass! I work very hard on you, and I get so frustrated when those darn logs plop on me and flatten me, or when I swear I jump but you say I don't and I fall off the edge. I like you, but I don't like you! :P You make me $#^#@ a lot!

Dear icy roads... I could do without you.

Dear idiot drivers near the schools... PULL YOUR BUTT OVER to drop your kids off. There is a lane for that ya know. But Nooooo you have to be ignorant and just stop in the middle of the road blocking traffic from moving, and blocking those of us that DO follow the rules from getting out of our spots. JERKS.

Dear interruptions of sleep... I DISLIKE you. A lot. Bree is up a few times a night at least. Sometimes its just me having to pee, sometimes its the dog having to pee. This morning it was the phone. At 6 the phone rings, its the high school saying school is closed due to icy roads. I thought you suck for waking me up, but yay I can shut the alarm off and go back to sleep! Not. At 6:30 when I was just starting to doze back off, the phone rings again, its the grade school telling me school is closed. Then, at 6:40 Bree wakes up screaming that Ninny aka Jilly was smacking her (she was dreaming, Jilly was up in her bed trying to sleep). Then at 6:50 the phone rings again, its Jackie the girl I give a ride to school...she was wondering if there was school. Ugh. By this time Bree, who I brought to my bed when she woke up a bit earlier, was yakking away and tossing and turning...so we got up.

Dear Swinging Baby Yoga freak....How could you do that to a baby?! That looks so wrong. Don't you pull the kids arms & legs out of socket doing that?! Lets talk about other things, like shaken baby? I believe what you are doing is very similar! I think what you are doing is child abuse. Readers, you can see for yourself here.

Dear popcorn... you smell so very good. But, I'm on to you, I know you are evil.

Dear Optical place...STILL waiting for MY glasses. Jilly & Bill got theirs...where the hell are mine?

Dear Chicken Taco Soup... MMMM MMMM you were GOOD.

Dear McD's Coke... I miss you. I haven't had you since last Friday. I've had 2 DIET cokes since..but its totally NOT THE SAME.

Ehhh I guess thats it for now.

QOTD: Do you do Yoga?

Toodles!

Pictures

It has been a while since I've posted any pictures of anything... odd huh?

So... I'm going to share a few now. In case you were missing them. :)

Jilly with her new glasses:



Bree doing Kelsey's make up:



The sunrise this morning:



Bree with her Cinderella panties on her head...:


What a nut she is. She takes after her dad.

Thats it. I haven't taken many pics this month. I must be sick.

Toodles!

I Miss...

Happy Sunday!

As you all know, I'm dieting. I'm trying to be healthier, eating less, eating better stuff, exercising...all that jazz. I'm doing pretty good. I've exercised every day since I started my quest to be healthy & thinner.

There are some things I really miss though. Let me tell you about them... (and you'll understand why I'm so fat LOL)

I Miss...

Chips! Especially BBQ ones.

Chocolate.

Daily Cokes from McD's. (I've limited myself to 3 a week now)

Mt. Dew.

Sweet Tea.

Cake.

Cookies.

Snacking while at the computer or watching TV.

Snacking for something to do.

Being lazy all day, spending more time on my rear, not exercising.

I miss feeling full, instead of hungry.

I miss grabbing a snack, without having to think how many calories are in it, and how long it will take to work it off.

Those are a few things I'm missing right now. But, when this is all done, and I've met my goals, I can say this...

I WILL NOT MISS...

Fat lady clothing.

Having to buy clothing with multiple XX's on the tag.

My kids not being able to get their arms all the way around me when hugging me.

People not giving me a chance, because of my appearance.

Fat jokes.

My son giving me crap about my weight.

I'm sure there will be more to add to that list later...

I'm looking forward to the day when I'm thin, I can feel good...and I can go shopping for some cute clothes :)

Ok, enough of my yakking... I need to go get my work out done! Have a super day!

QOTD: What is your favorite kind of soup?

Toodles!

My To Do List

Happy Saturday!

I had a busy morning.

*Got up to early for a Saturday. (check)

*Enjoyed a cup of coffee from my wonderful Keurig (check)

*Got breakfast for Bree. (Jilly got her own when she got up) (check)

*Worked out on the treadmill. Did my longest time yet today on it. (check)

*Worked out with the wii plus... LOVE this. New games are super fun. I rock at the marching game, the obstacle course is fun too (although I get super frustrated!) (check)

*Gave stinky dog Moo a bath. (check)

*Cleaned out Moo's stinky cage yuck (check)

*Brushed & played with hyper Moo. (check)

*Made lunch for Bree. (check)

*Unloaded and reloaded the dishwasher. (check)

*Worked on the mountain of laundry (check)

*Took a late, but much needed shower (check)

Then... things got nice...

Jilly was bored, so I suggested she call my mother in laws, to see if Leah & Noah (cousins) were there (they almost always are), I said maybe they'd like to play.

She called. They were there. Both Jilly AND Bree went over to play!

I had peace & quiet.

I got to watch my TV shows.

I got to sit and be lazy. Even though I should have been doing cleaning...

I ate my dinner in quiet. Boy was I hungry! It was my only meal today and I scarfed it down!

Then the kids came home.

They got PJ's on...

Bree laid on the couch...and is sleeping already. SCORE!!

Now Jilly is watching her shows on TV...but I don't mind....

Because...

I'm going to go lay in MY BED and watch a movie and enjoy an early night. I just hope I can HEAR the movie...since Bill is in there SNORING.

QOTD: Do you snore?

Toodles!

P.S. You will be happy to know (I think) that I have worked out every day so far this month! That has like never really happened before in my life. I've never been one to exercise on my own. I'm about 6 lbs lighter now...got about 100 to go... Keep your fingers crossed!

Dear...(1-12-11)

Good morning readers.

I hope today finds you happy & well.

It's time for me to link up with my friend Dazee and her 'Dear..' letters. If you are just stopping by for the first time, the 'Dear...' letters are short letters written to whomever...to express feelings good or bad. Feel free to join in either here in the comments, or on your own blog (if you do it on your blog, please stop by Dazee's and link up!)



Dear Comcast... You suck. Things were going just fine, then you had to do some digital crap, now all the tv's that are not hooked directly to the box don't get any of the good channels that we watch all the time. Now we have to go to your office to pick up the new things to put on the tv's, and of course it costs more... jerks. Why couldn't ya leave well enough alone?

Dear JERKS FROM WESTBORO BAPT. CHURCH...Are you for real?! Wtf is wrong with you?! I can't believe you. How could you be so awful? You are not filled with God, you are filled with crazyness and hatred... Its not right what you want to do, and what you are saying. You should be ashamed. (read about them here)

Dear Optical place... You are taking FOREVER for our glasses. Hurry up already! I went on Dec. 20, got my glasses back on Dec. 31...but had to return them because there was a big smear like thing that wouldn't come off...so they had to send them back to the lab to be redone. Bill & Jilly went on Dec. 29...still no word on their glasses yet either. Seriously, in this day & age it shouldn't take this long! We'd like to see already.

Dear cats... Enough of the crapping and puking on my carpet already.

Dear Bree... I love when you sing to songs on the radio :)

Dear Self... Good job on the dieting and working out! I've worked out every day this month! This has never happened before LOL. Congrats on making it to your first goal on the wii fit.

Dear bladder... You aren't very nice to me when I'm trying to improve myself by exercising... Stop making me leak when I do sit ups!

Dear husband... Last night you were hogging the bed! You even knee'd me in the rear when you were moving around. Ouch! And the snoring...dang dude, are you trying to wake the dead?! I would like to sleep ya know.

Dear kids & hubby... *I* cleaned the basement AGAIN, after you slobs made it a huge mess. Start picking up after yourselves! I am your mother & wife, NOT YOUR MAID.

Dear wii fit... I wish you had more options. Like the advanced step...after so many times doing it, maybe change the moves, and the music, and pace. The running one...change the running scenery, I get tired of looking at the same things. Make it more exciting for me, I'm getting bored.

Dear Ab Circle Pro... I want you. Why do you have to be so expensive?

Dear Circut Cake...I'm excited to have you...but I'm nervous and scared to try you. LOL.

Dear Commercials, Ads, Food Blogs... Do you purposely plan to show the most yummy looking foods during Jan. when most people are on diets? Do you do this to make them quit? OMG food never looked so good... Thats pretty mean of you :P

Dear work outs... You are taking way to much time... my friends miss me ;) But... I must do you if I want to slim down and be healthier. Darn it. I wish I was one of those people that could eat whatever, and stay skinny.

Dear skinny people... I'm jealous of you. You are so lucky.

Dear kitchen floor... You look pretty disgusting. I was really hoping you'd wash yourself...I don't wanna do it.

Dear readers... Comments are nice :)

Ok ok, I'll shut up now...

QOTD: What is your least favorite household chore?

Toodles!

P.S. Dear spellcheck...you aren't working right now, sooooo if there are any mis-spelled words on my post today it's all your fault.

Scream heard around the world

Last night Kelsey & Bree were hanging out in Kelsey's room.

Bree loves to play with her big sister.

They hang out on the top bunk, and watch tv, read, chat...fun stuff like that.

They were doing their thing, and giggling a lot last night.

Then...

All the sudden I hear a screeching scream, "MMMMMOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMYYY!"

You would think it was Bree...

But it was KELSEY!

I ran in to investigate...

Kels & Bree were on the top bunk...

Kels had her hands cupped in front of her...filled with PUKE.

LOL

The look on her face was priceless.

Bree was crying. She was freaked out by puking, and by Kelsey's screaming.

I grabbed Bree down, took her to the bathroom and gave her a bath.

I sent Jilly in to tend to Kelsey so I could take care of Bree.

Soon everyone was nice and clean, sheets were changed, all that fun stuff.

Apparently what happened was; Bree was drinking from Kelsey's reusable bottle, and she was laying down while doing it. She got to much and started choking. She sat up, Kels told her to barf in her hands instead of all over the sheets (not a bright move Kelsey) ...I think Kelsey didn't think she'd actually puke, or she didn't think that through to well.

Did you hear the screams last night? :)

Toodles!

P.S. Remember my post the other day about sit ups? Well today, I made sure to clear out my bladder right before doing sit ups again. Guess what. Even that didn't work! I still squirted! Oy. I need a new bladder, or some Depends for exercising.

What is wrong with people?

What is this world coming to?

It seems there are so many people out there filled with hatred.

Innocent people are being killed because of this.

It can't be all hatred, I think seriously those that commit acts like the the one in AZ on Saturday, are mentally disturbed.

Most people can not like something, IMMENSLY not like something...yet they don't go killing people because of it. So those that do commit those horrible acts can't be alright in the head.

These people need help. If someone that had known them saw signs of them not being right, they should speak up right away, get these people some help before they go all postal.

Guns...there should be stricter laws. Something needs to be done. These sick people can get a hold of them to easily, and kill to easily.

My heart breaks for the families that have suffered losses due to violence. Not only those involved in the AZ shooting, but those all over. So many innocent lives lost.

I keep thinking about the little 9 yr old girl, Christina, that lost her life Saturday. She was excited to go to that rally. She went with a neighbor. She was learning about politics and showed quite an interest in it, which is surprising for a 9 yr old. She sounds like an amazing little girl. She was shot in the chest. She was not with her parents when this happened. She (and her parents) didn't get to say good-bye. Its all so sad, and so senseless...

Lets stop the hatred people.

If you see someone that is way not normal...get that person some help.

I know, I sound like a weirdo myself...this stuff isn't easy to do.. but man... something needs to be done....

QOTD: Have you ever witnessed an act of violence?

Toodles!

Freak Show

I do not like an audience when I work out.

I have low self esteem. I do not want to others seeing me struggle.

I'm not good at exercising.

I breathe heavy.

I sweat.

My fat jiggles.

I look gross, and feel gross.

I do not want people watching me during this time.

Leave me alone. Go away. Let me exercise in peace.

I have a lot of jokesters around here too. They like to comment on me as I work out.

They also cause a lot of distraction to me.

Is it to much to ask for an hour and a half a day alone, to work out and better myself?

My family knows that I don't like an audience...yet they don't seem to give a crap.

This morning I went down to work out alone. Everyone was busy upstairs.

As soon as I get into my work out, first comes Kels, then Jilly, then Bree, then Bill...

So I finished where I was at, and went upstairs.

Up comes the girls...

I sneak into my room to do some exercise there, I shut the door....

First Bill comes in. Then Jilly...

UGH.

What am I? A freak show? Lets all watch the funny looking jiggly fat chick work out.

Thats what I feel like...a freak show.

Why can't they leave me alone? Do they not want me to succeed?

I'm trying really really hard. Can't they cut me some slack?

I'm frustrated.

I'm not giving up though...I'll sneak in work outs here and there as I can on the weekends. When they go back to work/school I'll go back to the way I do during the week... I just wish they'd cooperate a little more and help me out, encourage me... Oh well.

QOTD: Are you comfortable working out in front of others?

Toodles!

What I've Learned...

Since starting my diet I've learned a few things...

I'm going to share one thing with you today.

Do not laugh...

Are you ready?

Lesson learned: Make sure to visit the bathroom before doing sit ups, even if you don't feel like you have to pee.

Because... Apparently being old, and fat, and after having 4 kids, my bladder control just isn't what it used to be...

Sit ups should be renamed for me... SQUIRT OUTS!

Pass me some Depends!

I am pretty stupid I guess. I discovered this problem yesterday.... But today, when I went to do my sit ups, I didn't visit the bathroom first, because I felt like I didn't really have to pee... I was wrong. I now know better.

I need to stock up on underwear. I've changed 3 times today. Once after my morning shower as normal, then after my sit up/squirt outs, and then again after my workout because I was sweating like a pig in a frying pan.

I'm proud of myself, since starting Jan. 1, I have worked out every day. Yay me.

QOTD: How is YOUR bladder control? :)

Toodles!
(Sorry this post was probably TMI...oh well, I hope you laughed at my leaky lesson)

I think it's dumb.

I read quite a few blogs.

I follow and like quite a few things on FB & Twitter.

I see something very frequently, and it totally annoys the crap out of me...

It's when someone comments on a blog, or on FB, and they are the first one to comment on that thread, so they have to comment saying "FIRST". Like they'll win a prize or a bozo button or something.

Seriously, are we like 10? Who cares if you are first? Why waste a comment just saying FIRST?

I think its totally DUMB.

Are you special because you saw the blog or FB status first? No.

Do you win money if you are first? No.

So...whats the big hoopla?

There isn't any. If you ask me.

If you are so excited about being first, maybe try saying something intelligent, instead of just "FIRST." How about, "I love your blog post today, and I'm happy to be the FIRST to tell you so!" Yeah, that would be nice. At least you don't sound like a doofus who stalks blogs waiting for new posts so you can claim to be "FIRST!"

Grow up. :) Thanks. Love ya. LOL. Thank God none of my readers do it. Its not like you gotta race to post comments, since not many people follow OR COMMENT here.

In other news...that is not so dumb :) I am still sticking to my diet. Got a lot of working out in today and was pleased with my lack of food intake :) I'll be glad when I can see some progress tho for all my hard work.

Bree has been rather cranky today. One minute she is happy, the next she is crying over something totally stupid...Kind of like PMSing. LOL. God help me.

Jilly is loving her netbook she got from her family in Norway. She enjoys being on Skype talking to them, and to family & friends around here too.

Kels has done well with finals she took before Christmas. She got 300 out of 300 on her Anatomy final, pretty awesome. She is still getting all A's.

Zach has moved to his Aunt's house in Pontiac. Things are calmer here now. I'm happy to report he has a JOB now. It will be good for him to have some cash flow again. Hmmm maybe I'll finally get the $400 he owes me for the car... yeah, wishful thinking on my part I'm sure. I do hope he sticks to his word and pays me back, and soon...so Bill will get OFF MY BACK about it.

I guess thats all for now.

QOTD: Do you have anyone from your childhood that you'd like to rekindle friendships with?

Toodles!

Dear...(1-4-11)

Howdy Ho Yo!

It's time for the first Dear... letters of 2011! Good or bad, these little letters help me express my feelings, hopefully in a way that you'll enjoy reading :) Please stop by Dazee's and link up with your own Dear... letters!



Dear Kelsey & Jilly...I hope you enjoy your first day back to school after Christmas break, I know I WILL! :)

Dear Bill...Enjoy your first day back to work after being off for 2 weeks...I know I WILL :)

Dear Normal...its so good to see you again!

Dear Quiet...Its good to see YOU TOO! I still have Bree making some noise during the day, but it is so much quieter now that the others are back to work/school. There isn't constant bickering & yelling all day.

Dear treadmill...lighten up will ya? This body isn't used to treadin' go easy on me.

Dear Coke...I had you today. You were so good. I love you. After 4 days with no pop/soda you were a total orgasm for my taste buds.

Dear McD's...Thank you for not jacking your pop/soda prices back up on Jan. 1! I was so happy to see my coke was still a buck today.

Dear wii fit...I have a love hate relationship with you. You are kind of fun, but da-AMN, you make me sore! That stupid hoola hoop game darn near kills me...these hips were not made to do that.

Dear food bloggers...why do you make such yummy looking stuff, its torture for us dieters :P

Dear Self...Keep up the good work on the diet & exercise! You're not perfect, but you are trying hard.

Dear readers...Thanks for reading my blog. If you haven't clicked the follow button yet..please do so...I'd love to get new followers!

Dear friend of mine...I hope you get some good news soon, so you can be at ease and out of this limbo caused by someone you cared about.

Dear water...you suck. Thankfully I picked up some Crystal Light to make you a bit more appealing.

Dear house...Now that the kids & Bill are back to work/school, maybe you'll be a bit more clean! I know there will be less dirty dishes that is for sure...Miss Jilly seems to dirty a dishwasher full on her own each day.

Dear laundry...I'm this close to being caught up...please stop multiplying!

Dear blog...I HOPE to be more regular with blogging now...trying to get out of my blogging funk...cross your fingers

Dear Shake Weight...I hope you work wonders on my flabby arms. I love watching the video of the guys doing shake weights...it looks kinda naughty and it cracks me up.

Dear Dear...'s... Its been fun :) I hope you all enjoy my weekly Dear... letters. Its good getting feelings out.

QOTD: Is today a good day for you?

Toodles!

Guess What I'm Doing

Yo Yo Yo! How is 2011 treatin' ya?

I hope you are doing well. Did you make any resolutions? How are ya doing on those ya made?

I made one, its actually not for New Years...I just have been wanting to do it and I figured now is as good a time as any! I am jumping on the diet bandwagon.

I have really put on weight, and I look and feel disgusting. So I decided now is the time to try to fix that. I started my so called diet yesterday. I don't really have any strict diet planned out, I'm playing it by ear. I'm basically cutting out a lot of junk I eat, and trying smaller portions of things. Instead of chips, I eat a banana. Instead of pizza for lunch I'll have a salad... I'm also exercising more. Heck, 1 single push up is more then I've done in years, I have not been an exerciser...hence why I'm a fat cow now. This isn't probably the greatest weight loss plan, but its so much better than what I have been doing.

Yesterday I hooked up the wii fit, and did an hours worth of exercise on that. Today I did another hour of the wii fit, and also 15 minutes on the treadmill. I thought treadmill would be easy, its just walking...I was hoping to text and tread, to keep myself busy. LOL what was I thinking? I was hanging on for dear life! I clicked the weight loss program on the treadmill and off I went...started out rather slow, I thought this is nothing. Yeah sure. Soon it beeped, and inclined. Ummm wait, I didn't plan on this! Next thing I know it increases speed! WHOA! Slow down buckaroo! I'm a treading virgin! Easy pleasy. The timer was set for 30 minutes, but after 15 I quit for the day. Baby steps. Tomorrow I'll try again, hopefully go a little longer...

I haven't had any pop since Friday evening. This is very hard for me. I'm not going to cut it out all together, but I am going to drink much less of it. I need to drink more water. People, let me tell you...water sucks! I'm not a fan. But I'm trying.

I have no idea how much weight I want to lose yet. I guess I'd LOVE to lose 100 lbs...give or take a few. I want to go to Walmart or Target and just grab something cute off the rack to wear, instead of finding a ginormous size in the womens section. I want to look good, wear fun cute things.

Today I am sore from my work outs, missing my cokes, and a little bitchy... But...I know if I can follow through with this, I'll be happier and healthier in the long run. Wish me luck.

Please be my cheerleaders. Help me accomplish this!

Anyone wanna place a bet as to how long I'll last?

QOTD: How did you spend New Years Eve?

Toodles!