Saturday, January 8, 2011

Freak Show

I do not like an audience when I work out.

I have low self esteem. I do not want to others seeing me struggle.

I'm not good at exercising.

I breathe heavy.

I sweat.

My fat jiggles.

I look gross, and feel gross.

I do not want people watching me during this time.

Leave me alone. Go away. Let me exercise in peace.

I have a lot of jokesters around here too. They like to comment on me as I work out.

They also cause a lot of distraction to me.

Is it to much to ask for an hour and a half a day alone, to work out and better myself?

My family knows that I don't like an audience...yet they don't seem to give a crap.

This morning I went down to work out alone. Everyone was busy upstairs.

As soon as I get into my work out, first comes Kels, then Jilly, then Bree, then Bill...

So I finished where I was at, and went upstairs.

Up comes the girls...

I sneak into my room to do some exercise there, I shut the door....

First Bill comes in. Then Jilly...

UGH.

What am I? A freak show? Lets all watch the funny looking jiggly fat chick work out.

Thats what I feel like...a freak show.

Why can't they leave me alone? Do they not want me to succeed?

I'm trying really really hard. Can't they cut me some slack?

I'm frustrated.

I'm not giving up though...I'll sneak in work outs here and there as I can on the weekends. When they go back to work/school I'll go back to the way I do during the week... I just wish they'd cooperate a little more and help me out, encourage me... Oh well.

QOTD: Are you comfortable working out in front of others?

Toodles!

3 comments:

Bria Lorck said...

QOTD: No I hate working out in front of people! Mainly because FAT GIGGLES! Not only does it look weird but you can feel it and it makes you insecure! So you're not alone! What you should do on the weekends is do more outside exercise. Walk to start and you can even take Bree with you! I know it's cold but just think what all the scarves, hats and mittens can do to help you perspire! Then when you're confident enough you can start jogging! Just a suggestion! But pat yourself on the back...I'm too lazy to work out! Keep up the good work!

Dazee Dreamer said...

I hate working out in front of others. That is why I could never go to the gym.

Your family. Honest to god, I'm going to beat the crap out of each and every one of them. errrrr

Rhea said...

I'm mad at your family for doing this! Bill needs to support you by making everyone leave you alone while you're exercising!

No way would I workout in front of my family/friends. At least not until I was skinny and fit enough not to care. I believe you will get there Renee. I'm proud of you for being persistent and reaching for your goal!