Thursday, March 18, 2010

My Wish. Any Dentists out there?

I have a wish. It will probably sound crazy (and gross to some). My wish is that there would be a dentist somewhere that would take pity on me, and offer his/her services for YANK OUT ALL MY TEETH and give dentures. My teeth are falling apart, most of them are broken in some way. They are ugly as hell. And lately, they are painful. I have no dental insurance, and no money to spend on getting them fixed without it, so I'm kind of screwed. Not to mention the fact that I am terrified of the dentist.

This will probably disgust you, to learn this little tidbit about me...I have not been to a dentist since I was in High School...I'm now 41 yrs old. At first I didn't go because I was without insurance. Then when I got some, I didn't go because I was terrified, and they were not hurting, and not as ugly at the time, so I didn't feel the need to go...mistake. Then it got to where I didn't have insurance again, and now I'm miserable. I'd like a day with no teeth pain. I'd like to be able to eat things and not worry about breaking teeth, or how I can chew the food. I'd like to SMILE for pictures. I'd like to smile and laugh when talking to people without worrying if they'll see my ugly teeth. I think I'd have so much more confidence if I had a pretty smile, I'd feel so much better about myself. It might even motivate me to shed some of the fat I have, so my body matches my mouth. Oh well...its just a dream. I highly doubt any dentist will want to grant me my wish, without payment. I can dream can't I?

I should take pictures of my teeth to show you all...but, that would just gross you out, and totally embarrass I'll not do so. But picture this...brown spots, cavities, broken teeth, some just small pieces of teeth at the gumline. My top front tooth is half chiped off the side, and the rest is going to come soon I think. My bottom front teeth are decaying at the base, and part has cracked today, so its just a matter of time when things will get worse... Its bad people, seriously.

I guess I didn't take good enough care of them when I was younger. Even though I brush daily, more then hasn't helped. It makes me sad, depressed, and ugly. I wish I could turn back time and have a re-do with my teeth.

If I ever do get to a dentist, they are going to literally crap themselves when they see how disgusting my mouth is. I'm going to feel so embarrassed, and want to crawl in a hole.

I just want to be put to sleep, teeth yanked, dentures in, to feel pretty and smile again. Is that to much to ask for? Yes. It is.



Christine Ann said...

Renee, please don't be so hard on yourself, you are beautiful inside and out so none of us are going to be grossed out or disgusted at something like this that is bothering you!
I myself have not been to the dentist since I was 18 and Im 33 next month. I have no money or private insurance that will allow me to go either and it sucks but there isn't much I can do about it so I try to not let it depress me.

I have a baby tooth still at the front of my mouth and the adult tooth grew over it which makes me look like I have a fang on my left side. It is crooked and sits up quite high on the gumline and I am so paranoid about it. I hate it. I would LOVE to get it yanked out and corrected but we just dont have the money for it. Hell, I need new glasses before we even consider anything else, its been 4yrs and these ones are scratched to the shithouse its frustrating!!!

I know how you feel to some extent because I refuse to smile properly in photos, if there is any hint of seeing the fang, I pull back and have a closed mouth smile and yes, at times it makes me feel so ugly but I have to shake it off and remember who I am inside. Its hard, but you have to focus on your heart and who you are inside!!

<3 <3 <3

Mindi said...

I can't believe the costs of dental work either. I actually set up an appointment for Sugar Cookie to go to the orthodontist on Monday today. She was blessed with my small jaw. I had so much work done growing up just ot make my mouth look pretty. I'm dreading the bill for how much her's will be! I was actually thinking about writing a post to my parents today thanking them for all the money they forked over for my work.
Anyways, I really hope your wish can come true someday!!

Tammy said...

Girl, I don't even have to say it but I will anyway.... you KNOW I know how you feel. I was in your position as little as 9 months ago.

I'm not going to lie, having dentures is no walk in the park. I thought it would make things easier but it hasn't; it just created a new type of problem.

If you do end up having them pulled, do yourself the biggest favour on the planet, repair the last molar on each side rather than yanking it. They can make a metal brace that your dentures hook into and it will give you stability which is something you won't have if all of them are removed.

I can't properly eat a burger because biting into it causes the back part of my top denture to break suction and drop. The tiniest particle of food or heck, even a tiny pepper particle that gets in between the dentures and gums will feel like razor blades. And there is not a lot you can do to prevent that from happening; it just happens.

As I said, dentures aren't easy and they aren't fun BUT they are beautiful and you can smile again. Before doing it, weigh your options and at the very least, save the last tooth on each side (top and bottom). I wish I had. I know you can't afford it right now but someday you will so keep this in mind.

Renee said...

Christine, the appearance of my teeth bothers me a lot, but I'm actually more concerned with the tooth pain I've been having off and on since Jan. Toothaches are a bitch! Plus, if it gets infected it can really mess you up. I hope they stop hurting.

Tammy, yeah, I know dentures are not perfect...but at least there would be no more toothaches...and I could smile again. Heck, if I couldn't eat some things that would be a good thing lol, maybe I'd lose some weight! :) As for keeping the 4 back molars, can't do that, only one is in semi decent shape,2 are broken down to the base of the gums pretty much. Another has the back side broken off. My teeth suck.